Naruto of the Zaraki
by Mecha Greed
Summary: Kenpachi Zaraki dies fighting the espada and meeting the false shinigami who takes him to another world. The captain of 11th is stucked to the body of non other then Uzumaki Naruto himself! BLEACH/NARUTO crossover ADOPTED from Actionliker
1. inside a stranger

**well here it is the adopted version of Naruto of the Zaraki now being written by Me the first 3 chapters were/are by Actionliker the chapter 4 onward is by me**

**Disclaimer-I Own neither Naruto or Bleach**

A broken blade of a zanpakuto in his right hand. Gasping with agony as the feared Zaraki Kenpachi lay pitifully and shamefully on the ground he looked up to see his matching opponent. Stark is what he calls himself with a bored ass look on his face and that female espada whom name he has yet to find out, she was a dark skinned chick with half of her face hidden by her revealing white arrancar jacket that bares about half of her breasts. His eyes **(The eye patch has been taken off**) shifted to the right. Behind them was , that annoying little green haired brat was emotionless and silent. His eyes narrowed and a low growl rumbled through his throat.

_'Those bastards...' _He snarled as he tried to pull himself up, ignoring the fatal wounds despite suffering so much of it before facing _'those' _Espadas . _'Damn it...I've never...been this chewed out before...' _He reached only up to one knee and before he looked up, a foot just slammed itself to his temple causing him grunt and stumble a bit. Trying to gain momentum he quickly jumped...only to have his eyes widened as Stark came from behind, a Zanpakuto in his hand just pierced him directly but almost nicking the heart.

"Grhaaaa!" He gurgled in rage and tried to push off his attacker. Blood splayed everywhere again.

"Is this your first time being tossed around like this...Shinigami?" Questioned the female espada, tone cold and serious. "...We heard so much about you and by state of your in...and the look on your face..."

"...I'm guessing this is your first time being stopped like trash" Stark finished, turning around he raised an eyebrow at his colleague who was emitting grunts of irritation. "...what Halibel...?" The female espada looked away, muttering under her high collar.

"This is the end Shinigami..." Stark declared as he raised the blade high. "...And so is Soul Society..."

"REALLY!? I DON'T THINK SO!" Kenepachi screamed as he lunged forward, his face was of nothing but total insanity.

The next thing he knew was darkness.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Menacing black eyes opened slowly and exploring. Gaunt, scared face screwed in confusion. Large muscular arms began moving and feeling as if trying to feel anything in the darkness. It was a darkness that reminded him of that traitorous ex-captain Tousan.

_'Great, where am I now...' _He started to touch his face, then his chest and sides.

This didn't add up. Just a few second ago he had his black Reitsu adsorbing eye patched ripped off...Now its back there. His tattered, bloody captain shinigami robe was now just like it was before he fought the espada. His wounds are no longer there either.

Gripping his fingers and testing them...

_'Well...at least my hands are working haha...' _He joked, His uncovered eye glinted with slight insanity.

"But really...Where the heck am I!?"

**"YOUR IN MY REALM SHINIGAMI..."**

One eye turned stone cold, he whipped his head around, trying to find an object in this infinite darkness.

**"ABOVE..."**

The tall, eye patch shinigami looked up.

**"ALL FUN MUST END...SIGH...IM RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU SHINIGAMI..."**

The shinigami bent his head back to its original position and narrowed his (eye) at the being in front of him.

Floating in front of him was a tall yet terrifying creature of some sort, If it wasn't for his experience of seeing many freak shows in his long long life...he would've screamed.

The figure was tall...really tall...If he was standing right about a foot from this giant, he would reach to his waist at least. The creature has a dull grey robe that covered his entire body and the hair! it was just as white as it's robes or maybe whiter and duller. Sticking out of its wispy white spiky hair were two small purple horns.

And the face...

Kenpachi couldn't resist to grim.

Pale purple and decaying like a three days old corpse was eyebrow less and menacing more the captain of the 11th division himself. Gold pupils stared at him and the white of his eyes were replaced with blackness darker then any empty space exist.

Visible from his drooling mouth were razor sharp ass black teeth and was biting down a large knife...or blade...

Ah yes...It was the blade that got the Zaraki captain excited.

A sadistic grin appeared on his features.

"Look...I don't know where we are or where the heck you came from but..." He eyed the blade hungrily. "...How about taking that kitchen knife out..." He pulled his sword out in it's chipped and battered glory. With a war cry he charged...

"...AND HOW ABOUT WE FIGHT!!"

He swung the crippled blade and slashed with glee.

It seems to be a direct hit. However...

_'Wha...?'_

Kenpachi Zaraki just _went through_ the creature.

Spinning before he hit the ground he stared at the thing's back in confusion before it turned to face him. The evil purple looking face grinned at him.

**"YOU AND THE REST OF YOUR KIND MAY BE 'SHINIGAMI'** **OR 'SOUL REAPER', GRIM REAPER HOWEVER YOU CALL YOURSELVES...YOU CAN'T HURT ME..."**

"And fill me in why not?" Kenpachi growled.

**"YOU AND I MAY BE SPIRITUAL AND ONLY SPIRITUAL CAN CLASH WITH 'SPIRITUAL', HOWEVER..."**

Cold, dead and gold eyes looked at him.

**"...YOUR DEAD...AND NOT like "DEAD" DEAD BUT MORE LIKE "SPIRITUALY DEAD"...IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN..."**

Kenpachi just stared at it.

"So...are you a guy or a women?"

**"WHY ARE YOU CHANGING THE SUBJECT?"**

"Just askin ya..."

**"Well...I DON'T HAVE A GENDER BUT YOU CAN CONSIDER ME A MALE IF YOU WANT."**

"So your a dude in your consideration..." He placed his sword on his shoulder. "...so what the heck are you?"

**"IN THIS WORLD IM CONSIDERED AS A SHINIGAMI OR DEATH GOD FOR THESE MORTALS AND IN YOUR SHINIGAMI PERSECTIVE...YOU'LL CONSIDER ME AS A BEING WHO HELPS THE DECEASED REST IN PEACE."**

"Hm..." Kenpachi hummed, pretending to be interested. "...yeah yeah now tell me the situation before I changed the subject..."

The false Shinigami glared at him with a look that can make the most brutally trained men piss themselves. But to Kenpachi it felt like a winter breeze.

**"TCH, SUCH DISRESPECT! WHAT I WAS SAYING BEFORE...NOT ONLY YOU DIED, BUT THE CAUSE OF YOUR DEATH WAS A STRIKE THAT DESTROYED YOUR ACCESS TO YOUR REITSU..." **(like I said, I'm new to BLEACH so sorry if this is a incorrect theory)

Kenpachi just stared at "him" with emotionless stare.

"So what'cha saying is...I can't cut you because of the**..."...only spiritual can be clashed by spiritual..."**...?"

The larger being nodded.

And then Kenpachi exploded... (not literally)

**"FUCK! DOES THAT MEAN IM STUCK HERE FOR ETERNITY WITHOUT FIGHTING!? OR BLOODSHED!? OF ANY VICTIMS!? OR ANYTHING BESIDES WAIT HERE!?" **He roared as he began slashing his blade as if trying to open up portal to get the fuck out of here.

**"DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT? BUT AT A PRICE OR STAY HERE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?"**

The answer was immediate. Kenpachi got down on his knees and looked at it/him straight in the eye.

"Yes,getmethefuckoutofhereandIdon'tcarewhathappenstomejustgetmethefuckoutofhere!"

The false Shinigami just sweat dropped at Kenpachi's eagerness to "get the fuck out of here..."

**"ERM...I'M SORRY, REPEAT AGAIN?" **Kenpachi was about to answer again before he was stopped by a hand telling him to stop.

**"THIS TIME...A LITTLE SLOWER KENPACHI..."**

Kenpachi took a huge breath. "I SAID...Yes,get me the fuck out of here and I don't care what happens to me! Just get me the fuck out of here!" He finished with a tone that promised something deadly if the wish was not profiled.

The said victim stared at the reitsu-less Shinigami before a sadistic grin that actually made the fearless Kenpachi tense.

The false Shinigami chuckled as he took the knife from his mouth, gripping the handle...he raised it up high...and slashed the very air in front of him.

For a second nothing happened, Kenpachi was about to speak before the sound bellowing wind reached his ears.

To where the blade sliced the air, a some kind of portal opened up...and it seems to sucking everything in.

Thinking it was danger, he plunge his battered shikai sword only to find himself hopeless as the vortex portal became too strong and fast for him to react.

"Heeeey...WHAAAAT AAARE YOUUU DOOOIIIING!?" Demanded the raven haired warrior as he failed to hold his ground.

**"YOU SAID YOU WANTED OUT..." **The voice of the dead echoed his ears. **"...DON'T WORRY...I'LL ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS IN TIME...YOU JUST HAVE TO BARE IT..." **It was all Kenpachi heard as he was sucked in the vortex.

_'I just have to "bare it"? What the heck does that bastard mean!?'_

_**"AAAAaaaaaaaaahhhh..." **_Kenpachi's screams of surprise echoed and to the false Shinigami...it was like music in his ears.

**"...NOW THERES THREE SOULS IN **_**THAT**_ **CHILD'S BODY..."**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx(Unknown place)xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

His eyes opened in a flash, only to shut them in bewildered action. He rubbed his eyes vigorously, confused of the state he is in.

"Great...now where did that bastard put me in...?"

Sitting up, he then began taking every details his eyes can take,

_'What the-? Now I'm in a forest?' _He grimaced at his surroundings. Lush green forest, nice clean smell, and...

_'Ugh...too fresh and pretty...' _He frowned. _'...It would be better with sounds of blades clashing, there should be an aroma of blood, sweat and love for battle in the air and...' _He stopped as he saw pink in the corner of his eye. '..._is that...Yachiru!?' _He narrowed his eyes to more clearly, it was a person with pink hair.

"Oy! Yachiru! How the heck you end up here!?" Kenpachi shouted causing the person to turned around.

Kenpachi was floored at person description.

The person was a girl, obvious with the red dress and the girly biker short. She had pink hair and green eyes similar to what seems to be his deceased vice- captain of division 11th. However...

"What the!? When did you grown so fast..." He pointed at her. "...and whats with the giant forehead!?"

_'No...It's not her...this girl is too...bleh...' _He gagged, mentally kicking himself for mistaking this...slut as his partner.

If was a few seconds before the girl was screaming and dashing at his direction.

"NAAARUUTO BAAKA!!" She shrieked making him cringe as her voice nearly destroyed his ears. He was just in time a grab the incoming fist that was aimed at his cheek. The girl gasped in pain as he tighten his grip on her wrist. He tugged her closer so they're faces were inches apart "...And what are you trying to do little bitch?" He sneered at her, enjoying the eyes that was burning with anger was now of sudden fear and pain.

"N-N-Naruto b-baka your h-hurting me..." She murmured pathetically, tears were forming in her jade green eyes.

"Oh?" He cocked an eyebrow. "...And tell me of this...'Naruto' person you seemed to be screaming of, hm?" His sneer widened as a block of wood pelted on the back of his head.

"Naruto! Let go of Sakura!"

Kenpachi frowned and looked at the newcomer. It was a girl who seemed to be twelve years old like the "bitch" he was holding. She had long blond hair tied with a small piece of a string. _'She dresses like a slut...not that I care...' _She wore some sort of purple garments with a matching purple handkerchief tied to her shirt, she had to pants except bandages wrapping and covering her thighs and lower body privates.

Next to her was a chubby boy with a swirls for tattoos on each side of his cheeks. and seemed to be munching continuously on a bag of potato chips. (I know he didn't have chips in the canon but in this story he does.

To her right was another boy with his hair tied to a pony tail and resembles a pineapple and a posture that screams "LAZY"!

The girl had a headband tied to her waist.

The chubby boy had a headband tied to his forehead.

The lazy one had a headband tied to one of his arms.

All of them has the same symbol that resembles a leaf...or a swirly thing with a triangle attached...

Then Kenpachi realized something.

_'Wait a minute...I don't recall little brats there age taller then me...'_ He put his hand on his right eye. _'...And the eye patch is gone...'_

Letting go of "Sakura" who fell on her but, clutching her hand and crying uncontrollably. (my dear god even a 5 year old has better tears control then her!)

He stared at his hands...

His tiny, scrawny hands...

Then started to look at himself.

Shinigami garb replaced by...ORANGE!? A TRUE WARRIOR NEVER WEARS ORANGE!

Ignoring the sudden change in hight and clothing he ran to the nearest river as fast as he can.

_'Even my speed and movements are different...!' _

Hearing a roar of massive water currents, he jumped to the nearest source.

What he saw was not what he was expecting.

It was a face of a goofy, blond hair, cerulean eyed, tanned skin, 12 year old boy!

Kenpachi looked up, his black demonic eyes are replaced with ocean blue eyes that are deadpanned and dangerous.

"...No...freakin...way..."


	2. scrolls and exames

**Disclaimer-I Own neither Naruto or Bleach**

"...No way, no way...no...freakin...way..." Kenpachi repeated as he began testing his new (and downgraded) puny little body. He started by striping and removing himself of the hideous jumpsuit. This caused the pink hair banshee and the loud blond slut to shriek in outrage. However Ino stopped a bit early when her cheeks tinted pink as she took notice of Naruto's tone and developing body.

_'W-wow, I never knew Naruto has THAT under all of those eyesore clothing...'_

"NARUTO BAKA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Screamed Sakura but kept her distance as she vaguely remember her injured hand do to Naruto resistance against her. She felt better as she began putting him down after he nearly bent her confidence of abusing the blond demon vessel.

She opened her mouth to say the same thing she always do when she gets around the blond "dobe" but what she didn't expect was a medium small tan hand slapped itself to her cheeks, covering her mouth completely.

"Listen you tiny little bitch and **listen real good..."** Growling as tightened his and if you don't..." He tightened his grip causing Sakura to panic and twitch her body in pain. "...I don't know where I am but if you keep bothering me I'LL CRUSH YOUR HEAD!" and with that he easily shove her to the ground.

She slammed the ground hard and her lack of ass wasn't enough to cushion the impact. Feeling the impact on her bum she looked up and started forming what seems to be an limitless amount of tears.

"WA...uh...waaah...hic...wuuh..." She started, everybody started to back away. "WAAAAAHH!!" She shrieked as she held two fingers below her crying eyes. Kenpachi, not wanting to stay any longer with the pink haired crybaby he started to sprint to a place where he can avoid these cockroaches and get some answers but not before shredding up his ridiculous orange garbage with his bare hands and throwing it away like trash.

--Flashback 30 minutes later--

The ex-shinigami started to slow down while still trying to get used to this new and body. On his body were two deep bloody gashes caused by some blade, however he paid no attention to his bleeding wounds. As he continue walking back the place he woke up in this body, Kenpachi was feeling a familiar feeling of frustration when he wished he killed those masked ninja who tried to take this "scroll" from him a few while ago.

_--FLASHBACK 26 minutes later--_

_"Hey...is there anything but forest in here!?" He yelled out loud and irritation as he jumped to branch to branch, for the thousand times in his life he cursed his little to no amount sense of direction..._

_It wasn't long as his thoughts on his old comrades and Lieutenant came to his mind as if trying to guide him to the right direction._

_As expected it was no surprise that would Yachiru came to his mind first._

_--Yachiru thoughts pov--_

_"Use you intuition Ken-chan!" Yachiru smiled cutely, her hands waving cheerly at him._

_'I'm doing that already!' He growled at her._

_Second came Ikkaku his 3rd Seat of 11th division._

_--Ikkaku thoughts pov--_

_"The mind's eye thing!" Exclaimed the bald shinigami, his head sparkling as he spoke. "Then just use that! Duh!"_

_"If i could use that I wouldn't be thinking this, idiot!" Kenpachi snapped at him._

_Then the last was Yumichika Ayasegawa much to Kenpachi's displeasure._

_--Yumichika thoughts pov--_

_"If it was me in the middle of a forest...lost and lonely..." Said the narcissist shinigami of the 5th seat. "...I would probably call for help...in a beautiful way..." He finished with a exotic tone and posture._

_**'Go to hell.'**_ _Kenpachi thought, clearly deadpanned at his 5th seat officer's antics. As much as he hate to admit it but he miss those idiots especially the brat always clinging behind his back like a furless koala._

_--END OF KENPACHI'S THOUGHTS--_

_As he started to brood he almost missed three unfamiliar presence in the air. Kenpachi stopped his sulking and grinned to what some people considered as a psychopath expression._

_"Come out! Its shameless to sneak around like that boys! why don't you come here...?" _

_Meanwhile as Kenpachi disguised as Uzumaki Naruto was egging them on, three Ame (rain) genin were sweating as they miscalculated their plan to ambush the next fool who foolishly walk to their boundaries of the Forest Of Death. _

_"What should we do Oboro? I mean he look at him! orange pants that can be spotted for miles he even walked here like a loser! C'mon he doesn't even look like a match to me!" One of the rain genin Mubi suggested as he look at his team leader._

_Mizu stared at "Naruto" for a moment._

_'He's right, I'm mean come on, orange pants, only a black shirt with evidence there's no hidden weapons outlined. A headband to protect his forehead...Pft! like thats gonna help when we are gonna jump on him...Yeah...WE CAN TAKE THIS GUY AND USE HIM AS HOSTAGE FOR HIS TEAMATES!' The mist ninja thought wildly at this opportunity._

_"Alright guys, lets move it!" Oboro jumped from the hiding place to face Kenpachi who they think was "the leaf trash" and his two goons of a teammates followed suit. "Alright leaf boy! If you don't want to get hurt then bow to us and stay that way until we get your scroll!" The rain genin smirked as his comrades snickered. But that stopped when he noticed the grin on Kenpachi's face never left when they revealed themselves._

_"Really? Tell me something about this 'scroll' and also..." Kenpachi's face turned serious for a moment. "...Where am I?"_

_Oboro blinked twice before looking at his two teammates and then the three Kiri genin began laughing their guts out. _**(I don't know their names except Mizu, so sorry!)**

_"Hahaha hear that guys!? Blondy doesn't even remember why he's here!"_

_"I bet the only reason he's here is because his teammates dragged him here!"_

_"I knew this kid was a jackass the second I saw him HAHA!"_

_"Grr...I can't take more of this..." Thought Kenpachi with an angry tick mark on his temple, he looked at the fists that belongs to his new body. "...Oh well...even if I don't have my zanbaktou..." He grinned sadistically _

_"Hey queers!" Catching their attention. "I usually don't submit...then again I never do and since you want to take me hostage..." Kenpachi revealed a bloodthirsty grin. _

_"...You just have to fight me first!" He said as he began taking off his (Naruto's) black shirt) and throwing it to the side. "...And as a bonus I'll even give you a free shot at me! C'MON! WHAT DO YA SAY HUH!?" He sneered excitingly._

_The trio Amegakure genin stood in silent shock as they listened to what they now dubbed a "crazy" Konoha genin. They couldn't believe what they just heard. A free shot!? Is this kid for real!? What kind of shinobi lets themselves to be attacked unprotected and unguarded? _

_But here he was in front of them with his body available and free to take any kind of punishment that is gonna be thrown at him. _

_'Is he bluffing?' Mizu thought silently. '...Maybe is he really strong and this is just to let our guards down or ...!' He narrowed his eyes which carefully looked around the forest. He slipped his hand to his back and reached out for a kunai. "...O-o-or maybe he isn't..." He paused as his doubt began to increase. But the scroll! What about the earth scroll!!_

_"HEY! WELL!? AREN'T YOU GONNA GO!? MY PAITENCE IS WANNING!" Kenpachi taunted using Naruto's voice box, to the others it sounded like a goofy looking 12 year old with a demonic voice calling them. Taunting them. Like fly that'll soon be captured in a spider web. _

_"No, this is a bluff! it has to be!" With a cry he charged at the vulnerable blond, kunai in his hand, he ignoring the pleas of protest behind him as he crept closer and closer to this... infuriating Konoha trash._

_To his horror...the grin on his face never left as he slashes his chest open._

_'O-okay...' He stared at his bloody kunai and to the grinning blond despite the bloody gash on his chest and then gazed back to his bloody kunai again. '...I guess he wasn't bluffing after all...' Oboro then yelped when Kenpachi yanked the the kunai from his hands. _

_Kenpachi's creepy grin grew even wider when he saw fear in their eyes __**(or body movement since one of them has both eyes covered by a cloth.)**_

_"No, no no...If you really want to cut someone up..." The three gapped in utter horror as Kenpachi plunged the kunai deep into his chest, then they nearly passed out as he dragged the blade resulting another major blade wound except this seems more critical. "...You have to do without hesitation now try again!" Ripping the knife from his chest and throwing it back to the terrified genins who never seen such a terrifying performance could exist despite coming from one of the most war thirsty country/village in existence_

_"Well? If your not gonna attack me then at least tell me where am I boys." _

_"..." No response _

_"..." Kenpachi._

_"..." Rain genins._

_"..." Kenpachi._

_"..." Rain genins again._

_"...sigh...fine, at least give me clue or this 'scroll' something..." Kenpachi suggested, whats the fun if they don't even fight back!? Oh well...maybe he can get some information about this "scroll" they were so wanting about._

_At the end of moment he said those words the one with his eyes completely covered immedently reached through his pockets and pulled out a small decorated scroll._

_"Here!" He tossed the scroll to Kenpachi who caught it easily. "...The heaven scroll! Now take it and leave!" And with that he took hold to his two teammates and ran as fast as he could, away from this...insane monster._

_Kenpachi just blinked, still clueless of his situation and the location he is stuck now. Shrugging, he decided to solves this case and fight another time until he finds a clue. Taking the "heaven scroll" and placing it in his disgusting orange pockets and went back._

--Flashback end--

_'Is that blood I smell?'_ Thought Kenpachi as he accidentally took a whiff of the air. It was blood...and wasn't far.

"Blood...blood means battle!" He grinned as he sped up.

--

"Sasuke-kun are you alright?" Asked a very worried Sakura as Sasuke panted harshly, he rubbed the back of his left shoulder and try to massage the pain away but that mark left by that freak what did Sakura said his name was? Orochibu? Orichimaru? Whoever he was, it gave him a very unpleasant gift especially if it was the one of his neck.

He tensed when he heard footsteps, he pushed Sakura down and used his hand to muffle her gleeful yell of "Sasuke-kun touched me!"

To his surprise, shock and annoyance it was Naruto.

Surprise because from what Sakura said, Naruto chicken out because he was a coward and want out. Shock when he saw he was shirtless and two bloody gashes were clearly visible on his chest. But it doesn't even seem to affect the dobe. And last was annoyance because Naruto...was just Naruto...

Shaking his head and the pain from his shoulder.

"Oy dobe, where've you been? Sakura told me you chickened out..."

"Dobe" just stared at Sasuke as if he never seen him before.

--Kenpachi's pov--

Right in front of him was a boy his body's age.

The boy had an air of arrogance and smugness, he can tell that. He wore khaki tan shorts that was two inches above his knees and his shins were worn with fabric leg warmers with buckles. He had a blue shirt with a high collar that covers his chin. Also his face was arrogant and broody like his presence and with a hairstyle of a duck ass, Last was a headband with some kind leaf symbol and a fan symbol sewed on the back of his shirt.

_'Whoa...look at him, his body language screams "Emo", his face reminds me of an arrogant jerk but I can't remember who, and whats up with that duck ass hair style!?' _Thought Kenpachi as he took mental notes on this boy.

--Normal pov--

"NARUTO-BAKA!!" Shrieked a familiar loud voice, a voice that Kenpachi hope it was the last thing he'll never hear.

"Oh...not you again!" He scrunched his nose in annoyance as he layed eyes on the pick hair girl he met earlier. "Tell me...why do I have to meet _**you**_ again forehead slut?"

"W-WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?"

Kenpachi was about to repeat himself before a boy in his late teens interrupted. He had silver hair tied to a ponytail, a familiar headband with the leaf symbol and glasses that sorta reminds him of that Ishida Qunicy boy. **(I'm too lazy with details and suck at details and also you know who this person is so you don't really need an description unless its a hint) **

"Ah...you must be this Naruto I been hearing about! Names Kabuto Yakushi, I've been teaming up with your teammates because I can't find mine and you know..." He looked sheepish. "...We Konoha people must stick together!" He grinned with an air of friendly yet a suspicious gleam in his eyes.

_'This boy...I don't like him already...'_

"Sasuke-kun! bad news!" Yelled out Sakura, Kenpachi's now cerulean eyes followed to a heap up bodies and "pinky" was digging through their pockets, pouches and parts makes him realize this girl's a slut.

Kenpachi recognized the unconscious bodies. Each has those suits, masks and a headband with rain or water symbol engraved.

_'These are the ones who ran away from me! cowards!'_

"What?" Yelled back 'Sasuke-kun' Kenpachi noted his name.

"There's no scroll!" She choked in despair as she held her hands in front of her symbolizing there's nothing of their concentrated value. "Not even an earth scroll so we can trade!" **(I doubt they'll simply just trade the earth scroll for a heaven like that Sakura TT)**

Sasuke looked livid and then slammed his fist to the nearest tree. "It can be!"

_'Scroll...' Thought Kenpachi as he took the heaven scroll from his pocket._

"You mean with '_this' _"heaven scroll""? He held the scroll between both his index and middle finger.

Sasuke, Sakura, and the silver hair, four eyes, just looked at him with their mouths open.

_Since they know whats this 'scroll' thing is I'll just play along the way and maybe...'_

Kenpachi mentally grinned.

_'...There might be a fight that'll continue to grow to something worthy!'._

--THREE DAYS LATER--

Sasuke Sakura and Kenpachi are now walking to the tower to pass the second Chunin exam. It has been a strange and rather boring few days for the Uchiha and his number one fangirl. Normally their blond knuckheaded teammate would be hyper like he ate a bag of sugar and be all over everyone with his annoying voice and pranks. But the last three days "Naruto" has been nothing but silent and mild mannered only to talked to them about breakfast, lunch and dinner which was bizarre that he didn't even jump to be the cook or scream "I'll cook!"

The few days went on smoothly as well. The only trouble were the first and second day. First were the Mist nin, Then a freak named "Orochimaru" and the next day seemed to be his pawns/servants, the three Oto genin and beat the crap out of Sakura **(Kenpachi almost showed a glad smile when he heard this.) **Only to retreat from a rampaging curse seal Sasuke. And the day after that the same Mist ninja who tried to ambush Kenpachi earlier tried to ambush them for a earth scroll.

The only reason Sasuke and Sakura beat those punks was behind Kabuto seemed...different. When the two almost fall in defeat by the black illusion clones. Kabuto suddenly had a change in skill and threw three kunai at the real bodies making the clones vanish.

It seemed hopeless when Sakura found out they lacked a heaven scroll meaning someone has already taken it.

Then out of nowhere Naruto came by with a heaven scroll between his fingers.

And to Kenpachi's annoyance he had to wear the ridiculous orange jacket the "pink haired slut" and the "duck ass" started to question him how he got it.

His answers were always...

"Someone left it on their ground..." But they didn't believe him. Then again it was a lie.

"I ambushed a guy and found a scroll..." Like his first lie except they thought he was "Naruto the dobe" couldn't have beaten a ninja because "Your too pathetic dobe now tell us how you got that scroll." and "Yeah! What Sasuke-kun said!"

His third excuse was "Fuck you now leave me alone duck ass, you too slut." Much to their frustration.

Kenpachi narrowed his eyes at the 4th companion, Yakushi Kabuto.

Something about this guy doesn't...seem right. The day he saw this silver haired teen he already felt a prick of distrust.

"Kabuto!" A voice behind to bush startled them. "There you are!" A large man and another large man with clothing like Kabuto appeared. Their heads is covered by a full hitai-ite head band, one with glasses and one with black rimmed sunglasses and a cloth that cover their faces.

"Ah! ! Sorry, I hit a snag along the way." Kabuto scratched his head awkwardly. "Now that I'm here we should go!"

He turned to Kenpachi and the others.

"Well, I guess this is the where we part ways...good luck guys." And with that Kabuto and the others left.

"Wow! Kabuto is so cool! Not as cool as Sasuke-kun..." She said dreamily. "But I'm glad we had him along the way!"

Sasuke and Kenpachi just narrowed their eyes in suspicion.

--A few minutes later--

"So...how was the harvest...?" Said a silky dark voice. In front of this person was Kabuto, Misumi and Yoroi.

"Yes, it was above expectation" Kabuto stated to the owner of the voice. "I written down all of their his date from the second test." he held one of his Ninja info cards between his fingers.

"You want this, right?"

"So how was it Kabuto?"

"Hehe, so you're that interested...Orochimaru-Sama" He gave the card to the snake sanin.

"I just want your opinion...as our spy..." Orochimaru grinned.

"That's unnecessary..." He place his hand above the cut wound he received from letting himself from the mist genin.

"...since everything will be decided by you." With one finger swipe the cut disappeared from his face.

"Heh...I like that intelligence of your Kabuto...Good work." And with that the Hebi-sanin disappeared with a shunshin.

--A couple minutes later--

_"_Sooooo...whats this suppose to mean?" Questioned the ex-shinigami as he stared at the message glued on the wall.

Sakura's eyes widened in realization.

"I think...they are telling us to open the scrolls..." She declared as she held the earth scroll and Sasuke with the heaven. Their hands trembled while Kenpachi watched with little interest.

"T-This is...a summoning scroll justsu!" Sasuke said as smoke started to rise from the scroll contents.

"What should we do Sasuke!" Yelled Sakura.

"Let go of it duh!" He and Sakura tossed the two scrolls on the ground. The smoke stared to increase and then dissipate.

As the smoke started to fade, a person was visible behind it.

Sakura was the first one to speak up.

"Iruka sensei!?"

Iruka gazed proudly at them "Long time no see!" He took out a pocket watch and stared at it.

"And you made it just in time too!" He closed the watch and looked at them again.

"The second test...all three of you pass, congratulations." He announced to the stunned genin.

"To celebrate your success..." He smiled with his eyes closed. "I'd like to buy you a round of ramen but..." He paused, expecting a hug or a yell.

But none of that came.

He opened one eye and then another.

_'That's weird...usually Naruto would jump around in glee at the word "ramen"...'_

"Urm...I said...I like to buy a round of ramen for you guys..." He repeated. "...Well...what cha think Naruto? Another bowl of miso ramen?" Gaining the blonde's attention.

"Naruto" glared at him.

"Do I know you?"

Iruka just stayed silent as Sasuke and Sakura gapped at their teammate.

--

"First off, the second test...Congratulations on passing!" Announced the Sandaime Hokage. They are now stood silent in a large arena, facing a row of older ninja. No one said a word, waiting for the Hokage to speak. There were two railings above them on each side. In front of them stood a pair of fish netted webbed shinobi arms, with hands in a hand-seal. Along with Naruto's team, Kabuto's team, Kiba's team, Ino's team, Lee's team, Oto team and those three sand ninjas had passed. There were some signs of fear,(namely Kiba) nervousness, along with some joy as everyone observed who had passed, and someone in the group was just bored at the situation.

They stood in the middle of the arena, silent as the grave, as they stared down the senior ninjas. They stood in two rows, with examiners in the front, and instructors in the back. In front stood Iruka, Ibiki, the Third Hokage, Anko, and various other ninja that they couldn't recognize. Behind them stood the instructors, and from the applicant's right to left stood a man with glasses and spiky light-brown hair around his head. Next to him was Asuma, wearing his normal shinobi garb with the usual sash and smoking a cigarette. Kakashi stood next to him, as lazy as ever, with Gai to his side. Kurenai stood beside him, and to her right stood a man with a traditional shinobi vest and spiky hair combed back, spiky at the back of his head. Finally, a man with a small amount of face paint and Sand shinobi clothing stood, with medical tape wrapped around his head, and a piece of cloth covering his left eye with a hourglass symbol on his headband.

_'This could be fun...'_ Thought Kenpachi as his new eyes looked around the room, a look of hunger appeared on his face.

_'I can feel it...there are many strong presence in this room...' _A familiar sick grin that was caught unnoticed by a certain snake mistress.

_'I can't wait to cut them all!"_


	3. killing or being killed

_'_

**Disclaimer-I Own neither Naruto or Bleach**

_Boring...boring...looks weak...she looks a little too weak...he looks fat but then again he is...hoho that redhead has a nice thirst for blood on his face...I'll take note of him...' _Thought Kenpachi as he scanned genins from the back. The old guy with the beard and white/red robes started talking.

At first he ignored it, however the words "war," "battle," "fighting", "risk lives," "Strength," "honor of pride and battle," caught Kenpachi in a bag...

"So let me get this straight old man" Kenpachi questioned out loud, the other genins looked at him, dumbfounded by his lack of respect, The jounins lightly glared at him in irritation for disrespecting the Hokage. Anko, Ibiki silently chuckled at the guts of this kid.

Kenpachi ignored them. "So what your telling me that countries fight other countries for strength and honor...?"

Sandaime nodded.

"...And that we fight to the death..."

"Well...not exactly Naruto-kun its more then that it's-"

"So is killing allowed?"

This question made the elder shinobi held back a gag as he heard the sudden glee.. Even the higher rank shinobi noticed something. Not because he asked if theres killing allowed but the way he said it.

_'He sounds as if he was happy about that idea...' _Thought Anko who immediately recognized the tone of bloodlust because she has been using that attitude for her victims.

"Y-yes...even killing is allowed..." Answered the third as he focused his eyes on the spiky haired urchin and stayed his gaze upon him.

At this point, Ino, Kiba and a bunch of others were beginning to show doubt and maybe fear.

_'More d-d-death!? Wasn't the forest enough? Aw man this is exam is brutal...'_

_'Troublesome...'_

_'I c-can't die! I have to gain Sasuke-kun's heart yet!'_

_'Shanaroo! Now I can't get Sasuke's love for me because I'll be dead by the-no wait Sasuke-kun would protect me! Yeah! what am I scared for!? I GOT UCHIHA SASUKE AS MY TEAMMATE!"_

_'Aw man Naruto! Why do you have to ask that question now of all times!? Geez I lost my guts for this now...' _

Sandaime broke the tension. "Ahem...Anymore more questions Naruto-kun...?"

Kenpachi stood silent as he and the elder stared eye to eye.

To Kenpachi, it was just another old fool, but for some reason this "old fool" reminds him of old Yama-jiji, oldest of the captains, taicho (captain) of the 1st division and strongest of the 13 captains. He may have looked feeble and incapable but to Kenpachi, you can't judge things by its cover. But then again...

_'Hm...Is this guy some kind of leader? or a captain? and those bozos in the back...are they captains too? They wear the same clothing but...why the heck am I thinking!?' _His face scrunched in protest as he tried to clear his mind with bloodshed and swords.

To Sandaime Sarutobi, Uzumaki Naruto was like any other children, he known the boy since the day he was born and he became so fond of the blond hair loudmouth he was like a second grandson to him. (an annoying grandson to boot) but still like family to him.

Naruto was never a normal child...He knew that...but everyone nearly his age thinks of him as the worst troublemaker in history. Most the older generation knew better and hates him for it. Naruto is the vessel of Kyuubi making him known as "demon brat", "Kyuubi punk" and all sorts.

As all the times he know the boy, he was never evil or bloodthirsty like the villagers always claimed and complained. He was just another sweet boy who was trying to fit in.

_'But he seems...different this time...Its faint...'_

The elderly kage narrowed at his surrogate family member

_'...somehow...I can sense a dark bloodthirstiness rolling off of him in silent waves...' _

He was awakened from his thoughts when one of the jounins behind him _shunshin_ between him,the jounins/chunins from the genin participates.

"My apologies Hokage-sama..." The man bowed to his village leader. "...From here on as the referee...Will you please allow me, Gekkou Hayate..."

Sandaime nodded, his eyes still focused on 'Naruto'. "...Yes...By all means..."

Gekkou saluted and turned around making the genin see his face for the first time. "Hello everyone, I'm Hayate and before we commence (cough) the third test there's one thing I'd like you to do" He finished before going to a fit of coughs.

--Genin thoughts about Hayate--

_'This guy look sick, is he alright?'_

_'Ew! He looks as if he caught a cold and gotten better I hope he doesn't comes near me!'_

_'I'm surprised he still standing...'_

_'I don't think he's acting..."_

_'I think he's acting...'_

_'Blah blah blah can we start this 'war' thing now?' _Thought Kenpachi.

--End of thoughts--

"!!"

"A preliminary?"

"S-Sensei...I don't understand." Questioned Sakura, shocked from this sudden outcome. "Why aren't all the one here allowed to participate in the next text?"

"(cough)...um...because the first and second test has been too easy this year and for you...However...(cough)...guh...we have a bit too many genins remaining..." Gekkou answered as he kept spewing coughs on every word.

"According to Chunin exam rules, a preliminary must be held to reduce the number of participants for the third test..." The literally sick jounin ignored Sakura's loud "NO WAY!" "...erm, as I was saying...As Hokage-sama indicated earlier, there will be many guest at the third test and if all of you were to pass without reducing you...the fights would take too long, we are limited in time..."

He coughed a bit before focusing on all of the nervous little sprouts. (genin)

"(cough)...So anyways, anyone who wants out I recommend you do it now since we will be starting the preliminaries...NOW!"

THIS caused Kiba and the others in protest.

"WHAT!? N-NOW!?"

Kabuto looked at one of the smirking jounins and raised his hand catching everyone's attention.

"I quit." He smiled.

Kenpachi narrowed his eyes at the silver haired genin before focusing himself back to Sandaime.

--SAY GOODBYE TO KABUTO--

Sakura looked worriedly as Sasuke clutched his neck in pain.

"Sa...S-Sasuke kun...you should quit this exam too!" Shocking the Uchiha heir. Kenpachi listened from the front.

"Ever since Orochimaru attacked you...the mark still hurts right!?"

Sasuke stayed silent as Sakura recalls Sasuke's rampage and started to tremble.

"Please..." She wiped a tear. "...Please quit...I'm...afraid..."

_'Oh my God...' _Kenpachi who was still "Naruto", rolled his eyes at her pathetic self.

_'I can't take more of this bitch...'_

...He turned around...

...He stared hard at her and she stared back...

...and then Kenpachi slapped her...

The genin around them stared incredulous at him.

Sandaime and the jounins went silent as well.

--A few minutes later--

Sakura rubbed her bruised cheek as Sandaime resumed talking again.

"Well...um, You've all done exceptionally well getting this far." said the Hokage, puffing on his trademark pipe. The twenty one genin that had passed were assembled in the arena for the third exam. " You all possess great skill and determination, two things that will serve you well as a ninja."

" But, up until now, you have always had your teammates to help you. In this exam, you will fight one on one with an opponent. Teamwork, the ability to become more powerful with your allies, is the most critical ability for a ninja, but you often are forced to fight alone in the real world. Only the ten victors of this round go on to the final."

" That's less than half! And someone has to fight twice!" exclaimed Sakura, counting quickly. There were twenty one genin.

" Correct. Think of this as a war and they are the casualties." said the Hokage with a smirk. " The matches will be decided by computer…" he pointed to a black display board above, which lit up and names began to stir. " Good luck Chunin hopefuls!!"

After several tense seconds, it stopped on...

"ME! ME!" screamed a exuberant Lee.

...Uchiha Sasuke...and...

Sasuke smirked as he glanced at the screen, wondering who was this person he was fighting. '_probably __a weakling no name...'_

"Yosh!" Lee again. " Maybe this time it will surely my turn!"

...Akado Yoroi...

**Uchiha Sasuke vs Akado Yoroi. **

Sasuke hopped down as Sakura and Ino cheered him on, which he vehemently ignored. The other simply walked down. Sasuke looked on to his opponent. Simply dressed that matched Kabuto's outfit. He had purple and white garments on, with a scarf on his head and black, little sunglasses specks that shielded his eyes. Sasuke looked on at him, not worrying one bit.

_'Right off the bat eh?_

_'Hmf, I got a pipsqueak...and a Uchiha one too, hoho...this would be fun...'_

Kakashi only heard a grunt. The copy-ninja sighed. "Listen Sasuke, it's dangerous using too much chakra. At this stage, it's almost impossible to control it. It put strain on your body, a lot of it. I recommend not using the Sharingan as it too incorporates the need of chakra. If you decide to heed my warning, I will personally stop the match, ending in the disqualification of you and you will not be able to advance through the Exams."

Sasuke stared at his mentor with shock then gritted his teeth, almost snarling.

"D-disqualified?" He stated with stare.

Kakashi nodded.

Sasuke begrudgingly nodded. Kakashi smiled under his mask, . "I know you have a slight irritation with the rules Sasuke but if you don't listen, this seal can really hurt you. I'll make sure I do something about it."

"Alright Sasuke, Just stick to low-level jutsu that doesn't use a lot of chakra and-..." He then noticed Sasuke didn't bother to listen and jumped down to face his opponent.

"...and taijustu..." The silver haired cyclops finished lamely while Hayate orders everyone to be an audience by "sitting" on the rails, each across the chamber.

--AT THE GROUNDS--

Hayate signaled them both. "Ready…? (Coughing) … fight."

Yoroi being the first one to react, began to search his pouch while taunting at the same time.

"So this is the Uchiha brat eh? Doesn't look much..." One of Yoroi's hand gripped a few shuriken while the other hand glowed with a blue vortex of chakra. Sasuke stood his ground and threw some shuriken at the opponent. Yoroi dodged them in zigzags and stalked Sasuke as he flipped backwards. Closer and closer he got to Sasuke and then Sasuke felt his energy leave him.

Shrugging it off as it was just him. He ducked as he Yoroi pelted his own barrage of shuriken.

_'Just as I thought...' _Sasuke thought smugly. _'...he's just another weakling...' _He dodged his glowing hand and used this as an advantage by tripping his larger opponent He grabbed one of his arms and slammed his legs across Yoroi's chess, pinning him with a headlock.

_'I got him! I-I W-what!?' _The Uchiha survivor panicked as he noticed he was getting more and more tired. His hold on yoroi was getting weaker. Then Yoroi broke free and slammed a hard fist to Sasuke's stomach.

"AAAAaah!" '_W-what is this? It feels as if something is zapping my strength!'_

Yoroi smirked behind the cloth. "You know now not to underestimate me. This is my Chakra Absorption Technique, like it? I can steal away your chakra..." He harsly grabbed Sasuke's head. "...with this jutsu I can zap away your strength..." He soon hurled Sasuke away to the marble floor. "It's a matter of time before you have the speed and strength of a newborn baby..." He laughed at Sasuke's misfortune. **(Don't we all do?)**

Sasuke stood his ground, almost barely. He tried again to attack him long-range with shuriken and kunai, but Yoroi easily dodged it. Yoroi enclosed their space and tried hitting Sasuke with the Chakra Absorption Technique again but Sasuke jumped, flipping over his opponent and swept Yoroi off his feet. Yoroi crashed to the ground and saw Sasuke swirl out a kunai.

Yoroi felt the dagger pang in his chest but easily got Sasuke with his attack in the leg. Sasuke yelled again in pain as his body started to crumble. This time, Yoroi would not let go. Sasuke felt everything leave his body: his strength, his chakra, his energy. Sasuke grunted. He itched his fingers to his pouch and grabbed another kunai. This time, he forced Yoroi to roll away as Sasuke aimed to kill. Sasuke gather the rest of him and stopped to think.

'_Running to him will give me the disadvantage. All I know about him is his ability to suck away my chakra and strength. He only relies on close combat. I can't-'_

Sasuke's thoughts were hurled in the darkness that was his mind as his opponent's whole hand just slammed into his face and held there. _'Aaaah...He's stealing my chakra again...'_ Sasuke thought inwardly. '_That's it, I won't last_...' and he heard "Naruto's" voice taunting him.

"Hey brat..." Kenpachi's (or in case, Naruto's) face grinned down at him. "...I guess you really are weak...? Mind to pick up the pace because I'm really starting to have a fit if I don't a fight soon..." He cracked his neck with a satisfying crunch, the people around him inched away a bit.

The said person (Sasuke) stood numbly for a second before his handsome face twisted into a look of fury. How dare that dobe look down at him like a waste of space!

Sasuke pushing his body past its limits and he kicked Yoroi off with the last of himself. Sasuke stood after and spoke. "It's time to end this."

Yoroi ran to him, the chakra sparking again. "Give it up, brat!"

Sasuke disappeared, Sharingan blazing, as soon he stood, Yoroi's fist phased through that space. Suddenly Lee Rock looked up at the two and was shell-shocked. "T-That's my…"

Sasuke kicked Yoroi in the air with a good-earned kick, jumped in the back of him that resembled Lee's Lotus technique and followed after with a series of kicks. "I'm not finished yet fool!"

Then, his seal came to life, sending pain into him really good. "AaAaAa..." The great Uchiha survivor whimpered like a little pussy. "...N-no. I must fight it off." Sasuke thought as he fought the pain. Soon the flame-like marks that were covering him started to sink back to his neck.

_'I won't let is consume me!' _

Every Jounin and the Hokage in the crowd looked well at this. Anko was in utter disbelief. "How is it possible...the marks are receding by sheer willpower!"

Yoroi moved his arm to block another kick. "Sorry if that's was the last of your move."

Sasuke smirked arrogantly. "Well Sorry if this hurts." Sasuke spun in the air as he punched the man. Then he clicked his foot on Yoroi as he spun and both came to the ground harshly. "Shishi Rendan!! (Lion Combo)"

Yoroi's legs remained in the air before tumbling down, unmoving Hayate didn't really need to know Yoroi was knocked out hard, but he checked his pulse anyway. But he knew the Uchiha won. "Winner, Uchiha Sasuke."

**Then out of nowhere Disney soundtrack songs started** and his usual fangirls were cheering "YAY SASUKE-KUN!" before the two girls looked at each other and huffed. Kakashi appeared

**Then Orochimaru out of nowhere **started to grin and shudder creepily.

Drooling and licking his lips like a snake.

_'...Magnificent...' _

Hayate spoke, coughing actually. "The next fighters please step down."

The screen kicked up and read the two fighters.

**(Since I'm a very lazy person I'll just skip the matches and show the results...and yes, I sorta cut and pasted this from my "Reincarnation of Envy" story...because I'm lazy...)**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxTHE PRELIMINARIES MATCHES RESULTSxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Second match was Shino vs Zaku. Winner Shino.

Third match was next and it was Kankuro vs Misumi Tsurugi, he one of Kabuto's teammates and unimportant. The battle shocked and awe nearly everyone as the sound spy shinobi snapped Kankuro's neck, but turns out 'Kankuro' was a puppet called Karasu and nearly killed Misumi making him the winner..

Fourth Sakura vs Ino, DRAW. Sakura had lost by forfeit when Ino possessed her body, but Ino was also lost when she collapsed from chakra exhaustion after she made Sakura forfeit.

Fifth match Kiba vs Temari (you know what happens got her ass kicked by Temari from a shout of "Kamaitachi no Jutsu!".)

--Sabaku Temari vs Inuzuka Kiba's fight--

Kenpachi gripped the iron rails so hard you can hear it groaning from the pressure. He was just itching for the next fight!

The girl named Temari glided down off of the opposite balcony into the center of the room, while Kiba just hefted himself over the railing and landed in on all fours in front of her. He growled quietly and looked up at her with a look that says 'give up because I'm the alpha male and your a girl'. If she was intimidated at all, she didn't show it. Kenpachi smirked as he began to feel a grudging respect for the sand kunoichi. She wasn't the typical bitches he met along the way. This one had a war centered aura around her.

Hayate looked at both of them, reminding them that the fight ended if he stepped in. The two gave him both of their nods, he raised his hand in a karate chop motion and dropped his hand quickly. "Begin!"

Kiba immediately launched forward at the girl, swiping at her with his nails, but the sand kunoichi easily block the blow just by tilting her fan in the way. Kiba lost the cocky look and snarled. He jumped back alongside Akamaru and "Shikyaku no jutsu!" His nails and teeth expanded, and Kiba's overall appearance became even more animalistic. Once again, if this shocked the kunoichi at all, she didn't show it. She just smirked and pulled out the gigantic fan of hers and opened it.

"I'll beat you without even moving from this spot you smelly mutt."

Kiba snarled before charging at her again, "Bitch! don't you dare get your hopes up!" But he was blocked once again by that blasted fan of hers, and when Akamaru likewise tried to get her, she swiftly turned and kicked the dog away. Kiba turned, wide eyes, as Akamaru bounced and skidded across the floor, before turning to Temari. "You bitch!" He ran over to Akamaru to make sure he was alright, but that turned out to be a big mistake.

Temari quickly unfurled her fan fully, and just as Kiba bent over Akamaru, she swung it hard, creating a huge gust of wind that cut at Kiba and Akamaru. it even picked Akamaru up and slammed the dog against the wall, and with a pitiful whine, Akamaru fell unconscious.

Kiba was now feeling something beyond rage, and with a furious cry, he yelled out, "**Bitch! You'll regret that! Gatsuuga!" **and turned into a spiraling tornado and shot at the sand kunoichi.

Temari had to move aside to from getting hit, but Kiba glimpsed the edge of her fan and tore part of it to pieces. Her eyes finally showed some shock then changed to something dark. And then Kenpachi shivered in pleasure when he felt a spike of bloodlust and anger that radiated from the blond Kunoichi.

Temari growled in rage as she pulled the fan back and released an even bigger gust of wind before at kiba, who had to hold up his hands to shield the winds from scarring his face, and even then the wind was pushing him closer and closer to the wall. It was all he could do to stand in one spot. Once Temari was sure his guard was down, she shut her fan quickly and lunged at Kiba, who didn't even have a chance to react before her fan smashed right into the side of his head, knocking him into the wall a few feet away.

"Ooooh!" gasped the audience as the dog ninja lied on his back, Akamaru was just a few feet away.

"UuUuUugh..." He groaned, his eyes rolled back his head went limp, out cold.

Hayate nodded, and walked over to Temari. "Winner, Sabaku no Temari."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxOTHER MATCHESxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Six match Shikamaru vs Kin (you know what happens because Shikamaru wins.)

Seventh match was Hinata vs Neji, Hinata submitted a forfeit as Neji's words made her broke down in tears only her team comforted her. Everybody stared sadly at the weeping glossy blue haired Hyuuga. Kenpachi whispered a silent "pitiful" but no one heard him.

Eight match Lee vs Gaara. This battle was a true turning point, two great titans clashed but in the end Gaara stands in triumph while Lee was suffered great injuries.

Once again Kenpachi unleashed a killing intent. Not because Lee was injured but the fact these little runts have all the fun killing each other while he's stuck here!

Ninth match was Akamichi Chouji vs Dosu Kinata. Even with Chouji's impressive 'Baika no Jutsu' and 'Nikudan Sensha' he was still no match for Dosu's sound abilities. Dosu won.

The tenth and final match was was Naruto and Tenten. Everybody looked at Tenten who started her way down the stairs. The blond who was mentioned was now had his chin against his palm. His face bored and agitated

xx--xx

Kenpachi sighed for the 100th time, when will it be his turn!? He WAS one of the participators who past didn't he? He was then rudely shaken by a hand on his shoulder. Tilting his head, his now blue eyes met a man with silver hair, his headband covering one of his eyes and a dark blue mask.

"Naruto your up." The man made a hand motion to the floor, Tenten and the ref (Hayate) was waiting impatiently.

Suddenly Kenpachi stood up. His eyes wide and his face in a excited grin.

_'M-ME!? MY TURN!? Y-YES! HAHAHAHA!!' _He thought as started his way down.

Everybody stared at the blond idiot making a fool of himself as he began hooting his way down the stairs.

Kakashi just stared.

_'What's with him?' _He thought dumbfounded _'Is he an idiot? That girl... She is Gai's pupil and master of weapons. She is probably the worst kind of opponent for him save maybe the Hyuuga prodigy. And he's laughing? I knew Naruto was a total moron but this is a bit too far...'_

Kakashi sighed, shaking his head in annoyance.

"Well, at least he is in high spirits..." he muttered leaning his back on the wall, arms crossed. "Not that it will help him much..." He closed his eyes, knowing who would be the winner.

The others nodded in agreement as a few felt sorry for the blond jinchuuriki.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Naruto Uzumaki" vs Tenten

"Alright Uzumaki-san since I'm generous I'll give you a count to ten to give up or else I'll resort to force." Her offer was firm and sharp with authority. But the way her body stood it was clear she was preparing to fight if he was to refuse her offer.

Of course Zaraki Kenpachi was never the one to back down especially this snotty runt who dared to give _**HIM**_ of all Shinigami/people an offer to quit a fight?

Kenpachi grinned like a maniac that scared a few since usually Naruto give a foxy grin with his eyes shut and his lips stretching to his cheeks. Not a grin that only psychopathic killers has. **(If only they knew TT)**

"Sorry but I have to refuse your _generous _offer and besides..." If possible his face grew shadows and became gaunt. "...I've haven't even get to shed one drop of blood yet."

This caused many eyebrows to rise. Since when did the dead last get so bloodthirsty?

Tenten frowned and just simply dubbed his refusal as arrogance and pulled out two kunais so fast it seemed like it came from nowhere.

"Fine." She sighed." "But don't blame me when I told you so." She bolted at his direction. Kunais glinting dangerously in both of her hands. _'If taunting him won't work then I'll try another approach...'_

Kenpachi just smirked. "I doubt you can actually give me a decent warm up.."

The weapon specialist merely scowled. Her? She can't give **HIM** a decent warm up? She even had Neji running for his life yet the "dead last" says she can't give him a good warm up?

"Last chance!" She yelled as she she did a fake slash with her kunai, hoping he'll be intimidated by her false intent. To her surprise he remained still and the crazy grin etched on his face didn't waver either.

"What the hell are you doing!?" Tenten halted herself from actually delivering him a bloody gash and stared at him. "Just give up already! You at least know you can't beat me less then actually scratch me!"

She received no answer from the blond and decided to attack with a mortal intent.

-She started to slice his chest...

-then to his shoulders...

-And then she aimed to his slice his chest again...

Her attack only lasted a few seconds and looked at her handiwork

Two red gashes at each of his shoulders, and a bloody "X" mark that started pouring at the center of his chest and staining his jumpsuit. Yet despite all this that glee on his face didn't even move an inch!

"Hey!" She called out. "Why the heck are you smiling about!? Are you gonna stand there as I cut you up!?" She paused.

"Do...do you even care your gonna die from blood loss?" She whispered.

Kenpachi just narrowed his eyes at her, his grin widened a teeny bit.

"Oh no...no...not at all, in fact..." He chuckled darkly and unzipped his bloody jacket revealing the damage she caused. This aroused gasps of horror and gasp of awe. Horror as he show his bloody chest with no hesitation and awe from the women/females as they started to blush at his tone (but growing) torso.

"C'mon...you can cut me all you want..." He pulled the stomach part of the jacket even further. "...just anywhere...anywhere..._**anywhere**_..." He darkly emphasis his point.

"And don't hold back..."

"WHAT!?" Tenten, Genins, Chunins, Jounins and even the Kages (counting Sandaime and Orochimaru) shocked by this sudden advantage.

Kakashi slapped a palm to his face. Ashamed of his student. Ninja are suppose to on guard on all times! Not let his opponents/enemies take advantage of the situation!

It's clear that Naruto failed as a ninja and he should be thankful that Tenten is a fellow leaf nin as he is or else he'll probably be cleaved in half by a Iwa (stone) ninja who might harbors a grudge for Konoha winning the 3rd Shinobi war.

Tenten and Kenpachi stared. The tension is rising as they locked eye to eye.

"Are you-...!?"

"No"

"You didn't even let me say it...-!"

"Nope" Tenten stared at him.

"Look..." She tried to reason with him. "I'm not going to attack someone unarmed! Do you think I'm stupid!"

"No, I don't think your stupid."Kenpachi explained. "This...is just a handicap. _A charity." _She remain still, still confused with this 'charity act. "It's nice of you...not wanting to attack an unarmed person but...you should save your sympathy for someone else." His eyes narrowed to a glare.

"Don't be so stuck-up girl. Just enjoy this!"

At this Tenten got angry.

"Enjoy this? ENJOY THIS!?" IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WANT TO BE KILLED!?"

Kenpachi's (Still Naruto's) face became stony. He looked at Tenten with a ghoul-like frown.

"Killing...and being killed...**They are just a way to pass time!" **

Silence...

No one talked. Shocked by the words that came from the mouth of someone who values life like a second nature.

Silence...

Tenten gripped her fist and bit her lips hard enough to make it bleed and dribbled down to her chin.

Silence...

Tenten snarled, she returned her kunais back to her pouch and began reaching for two scrolls on her back. She roughly placed the scrolls on her left/right and did a hand seal.

**"Soshoryu!"** (Twin Rising Dragons)" She shouted. Then a large amount of smoke appeared. Two figures shot out resembling dragons which soon dissipated revealing the scrolls just been unraveled. Tenten took this cue and jumped high and inside the swirling scrolls. She floated gracefully and glared at Naruto's body/Kenpachi with something close to hate.

"_A way to pass time_...?" She repeated. "...A way to pass time? A FUCKING WAY TO PASS TIME!? HOW CAN YOU THINK AND THROW LIFE LIKE THAT AWAY SO CASUALLY!?" She shouted fiercely. "JUST A WAY TO 'PASS TIME!? THATS CRAZY TALK! NO WAIT...THATS HOW MURDERERS TALK'!" She continued shouting. She let the scroll fall down and kicked it open.

She could hear Gai and Lee screaming something, but it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered except that...that this heartless fucker in front of her. He lost any respect from her when his words of killing or being killed was just an average way to pass time...who does he think he is!?

She held her hand next to a Japanese kanji seal. Then with a _"poof" _a Kunai appeared in her hand and the same with her other hand a fuuma shurken.

"Aaaah!" She let out a war cry and threw both items with all her might. She didn't acknowledge if they hit him or not and continue to summon and pelt any sorts of weapons or shiny object at him.

...anything...to make him take back his words...

Time seems to slow down for her, she can feel her heart beating as she continue throw...kunais...shuriken...fuuma shuriken...demon wind shuriken...daggers...kama...kusari...zanbaktous...swords with different size and shape...even a freakin bomb note.

The last one was about to make a explosion.

She and the audience thought one thing as their eyes landed on the piece of burning paper hitting the marble floor.

_'Oh crap...' _Nobody moved except Hayate running as far away from the burning note and was just in time as the paper bomb go...-

BOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Everybody shield themselves as gust of wind and stone. Tenten being the second closest was sent flying to the wall. She hit and fell down with a grunt. Slightly injured she managed to get up. Her injuries doesn't seem to serious, just a few scratches and a bruise that will start appearing on her back.

_'Did I kill him?' _She thought as the smoke and dust started clearing. A small bloom of guilt and satisfaction combined in her gut if he is dead. When the smoke finally dissipated her eyes and many others widened to see a gruesome site.

Right in front of them, bloody, impaled, burnt and smiling was "Uzumaki Naruto."

Whats worse was that psychopathic grin was on his face again.

"Hm?" He raised his head as if nothing was wrong. "Aw, Is it over?"

Tenten is fucked.


	4. End of Prelims

Well here it is my actual first chapter enjoy

**Disclaimer-I Own neither Naruto or Bleach**

"Hm is that all you've got woman? I must say while that was great for my stiff shoulders. But little life lesson for ya. Your gonna have to do a lot better than that if ya wanna kill me. But I guess that one lesson your can take with you to the grave."

With his signature psychopathic grin still plastered on his face Zaraki began removing bits of metal and wood from his body that would otherwise hamper some of his movement.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" Yelled the retreating wide eyed bun hair kunoichi bumping into the stonewall while her blond opponent pulled the remnants of her Guandao from his left leg.

"Who me I'm just a man who lives for the Battle seeking the most powerful of opponents to cut them down or be cut down myself". Replied the former captain

Breaking the rest of of the Guandao so it to on the appearance of somewhat damaged 4 foot bokken with a shattered tip. the preteen psycho gave it a few practice swings testing it out for durability. Satisfied he gave a vicious grin.

"Well looks like this'll do for now get ready girly its time for my fun to BEGIN."

--On the balcony--

"Kakashi what kind of training did put that boy though for him to become like this in so little time" question Gai to his perverted rival.

"Hmm you say something Gai" replied the silver haired perv

***SMACK***

**"OW!"** cried Kakashi holding the back of his head. Looking down he saw a blue sandal is what hit him.

"O.K. which one of you threw this who even throws a shoe."

Holding up said object he waited for a reply to his question

Stepping forward the busty red eyed Kurenai held her hand out.

"It was me I did it because this is no time for your stupid games now answer the question and return my shoe" spoke the beautiful kunoichi.

"Hmm, well first of pertaining to the return of your shoe I'm going to have to say no I'll be keeping it to teach you a lesson about throwing things. And secondly even I'm not sure of what happened to Naruto it must have happen in the forest because he wasn't like this before he went in there." calmly spoke silver haired jonin.

Looks of shock were upon all of the leaf jonin's faces from this information until Kurenai realized that Kakashi was not returning her shoe.

"Hatake return the shoe now!"she yelled

**"NO MINE!"** He replied childishly.

"What are you some kind of Foot Fetish Freak?" she inquired.

--Back on the arena floor--

Kenpachi ran towards Tenten at great great speed considering his current body take a sideswipe at her making a long cut across her torso.

Getting cut shook Tenten out of her state of shock jumping to the side narrowly avoiding a blow aimed for her head realizing that her options were limited gained some distance from the approaching maniac she removed her headband thankful that not everything her sensei said was a load of crap.

_**/Flashback 7 months ago/**_

"Alright everyone gather around" yelled the enthusiastic Maito Gai

"Listen up team you all have incredible skills and talent but you still thinking inside the box of course that is all well and good. But you need at least one unorthodox move that your enemy will never expect. I myself have twenty seven techniques but that is besides the point. Your task to day is to come up with at least one. I'll be back in an hour to see what you've come up with."

"Gai sensei where are you going? To perform some Extreme taijutsu training perhaps!?" Questioned the energetic Lee with flames in his eyes

"No my youthful student I've competing against Kakashi in an **EXTREAME RUBBER DUCKY** race" replied the hyped Gai pulling out a Green rubber duck wearing a mini jonin. flak jacket.

**"COME FLAMING SQUEAKER TO CHALLANGE!"** He screamed running off to training zone 44 at incredible speed while his team just stared two with disdain the other pride.

--4 hours later--

reentering the training ground Gai approached his team a sad expression on his face

"A sad event has occurred my youthful students Flaming Squeaker is dead. He won the race but was eaten by a bear." He sobbed tears in his eyes.

"OK. Show me what you've got I need some cheering up after this unyouthful tragedy Neji you first."

"Gladly" spoke the Hyuga genius stepping forward gleaming with pride and arrogance. untying his hair ribbon he began.

"Knowing that my hair could be used against me I've added two explosive notes to my hair ribbon so if it is grabbed unlikely as that is I can simply cut my hair and activate the note." he finished Retying his ribbon around his hair.

"Very good Neji perhaps if that does indeed happen you can take up the bowl cut like Lee and I" replied Gai

"Lee your next show me your move."

**"YOSH! My Youthful Tactic is this I Have Sharpened My Toothbrush's Bottom Turning It into Most Useful Shank That Will Also Keep My Breath Minty Fresh**." Lee stated showing said item to his comrades flashing a blinding white smile.

"Interesting. Tenten that leaves you" spoke the shocked jonin.

"Gladly" the lone female replied happily

"Well given this opportunity I decided that I would make a weapon out of something I have on me at all times. Going over the possibilities I decided upon using my headband. Upon studying different designs I came to the conclusion that a makeshift trench knive could be made by adding a few hinges an d locking mechanisms sharping the upper half of the metal plate my theory proved successful adding an additional weapon to my arsenal and completeing the requirements of this assignment" she finished being met with blank stares and silence after her explanation.

"What?" She asked not understanding the strange looks she was getting

_**/End Flashback/**_

Turning around Tenten performed a quick slash connecting to the blond's face leaving a vertical cut down the left side of his face but it did not slow down her crazed opponent in the slightest. Just as she was about to take another cut at him his weapon connected with her right shoulder causing it to dislocate sending a wave of pain through her the likes of which she has never felt before. Taking another swipe Kenpachi aimed and delivered another strike this time to her left leg sending another near crippling blow onto the bun haired kunoichi delicate body. Tenten released her makeshift weapon and let lose an agonizing howl that had all of spectators watching covering their ears except for Kakashi Hatake and Ino Yamanaka who were use to such noise coming from a certain pink headed Genin with a forehead the size of a certain second division lieutenant's ass. Taking another a tennis type swing Kenpachi struck the girl's chest sending her flying into the wall a pile of rubble falling on her battered body. Seeing this the demon of the blood-thirsty sword turned around preparing to leave the arena..

"Well that was a little fun he but now I'm bored again" he spoke mostly to himself.

"Where do you think your going Uzumaki!" A slightly muffled voice yelled

"Huh. So your still alive sorry but this fight is over." he said while only take a glance at a now risen bloody Tenten.

"Wh-What! I thought you said killing was just a way to pass time are you changing your mind because I'm a girl?! Don't show me any of that bullshit I'm a ninja just like you!" She yelled barely standing up blood flowing down her face like a faucet.

Snarling the miniature now blond captain turned around and stomped towards Tenten an angry scowl on his face. Grabbing her shirt he pulled her down to his eye level.

"Listen here you brat. **Whether you're a boy or girl means nothing on the battlefield!" **He screamed in her face getting a bit of spit on her. "It's not my job to kill you just be glad that your still alive so you can get stronger and get revenge on the person that didn't finish you off."

"I guess I misjudged you Naruto -kun your not a murderer a little scary though but I still won't follow all of your advice though I'll get stronger but I won't seek revenge" Tenten spoke before sub coming to unconsciousness.

"Winner Naruto Uzumaki" announced Hayate finally ending the match.

"Huh hopefully you'll learn the way of the warrior someday." Kenpachi spoke then proceeded to jump from the arena to the balcony in front of the shy Hyuga heiress.

"You woman I smell the healing herbs on you fix my wounds now."

***SMACK***

"Why did you throw this shoe at me red eyes?"Kenpachi questioned Kurenai

"I did it because you called my student woman its demeaning she has a name use it right Hinata." Kurenai spoke with feminine fury

"I—i-i-ts alright sensei N-n-naruto-kun needs my help" spoke the meek Hinata while thinking

_'HE CALLED ME HIS WOMAN!''_

Hinata unscrewed several containers of cream a began to rub the medication into Naruto's

bruised flesh covering his entire back the beginning to rub his bare chest caressing his sculpted abs erect nipples pectoral muscles relaxing to her soft touch. Slowly she reached his face touching it the neutral scowl of Kenpachi did not feel light on her crush's face but she knew that with her love she would be able to bring his warm smile back. Finishing up she realized what she had just done and promptly fainted.

Strange Girl was the lone thought going though Kenpachi's head.

"AH HM the elder sarutobi spoke. Now that Lady Hyuga is finished molesting young Naruto we may continue........"

(one long and boring speech about showing off to judges and rich bastards later )

now each of you will draw a lot which will determine your opponent for the next round.

Each genin then proceeded to draw and they each drew the following numbers

Naruto-8

Shikamaru-6

Neji-9

Temari-7

Dosu-2

Kankuro-5

Shino-1

Gaara-3

Sasuke-4

alright so the pairings are as followed

Round 1 is Shino Vs. Dosu

Round 2 is Sasuke VS. Gaara

Round 3 is Kankuro Vs. Shikamaru

Round 4 is Naruto VS. Temari

And Neji will face the winner of round 4

"Now Train hard and give your fans a good show" the aged Hokage spoke with a smile on his face.

"I still don't see why we didn't just use my idea to find a winner of this thing?" Kenpachi stated with a hint of sadness in his voice

"Naruto I've spent the last hour explaining to you that we are not going to have a battle royal in an electrified Steel cage filled with explosives Lions, Tigers, Pandas and Chihuahuas when you become Hokage then you can pick the rules for a tournament" screamed Hiruzen wishing the boy would let the subject go so he could enjoy some quality time with his pleasure stick(his pipe) and his Book(Icha Icha).

"Fine" the former captain replied finally letting the subject go.

Everyone soon began their departure from tower except for the former captain who was halted my an angry looking female jonin with a held out hand.

"What do you want woman?"Kenpachi asked slightly irritated.

"My shoe Uzumaki" she stated firmly.

"No I'm keeping it" he flatly responded walking around the barefoot woman.

"HOW THE HELL AM SUPPOSE TO LEAVE NOW!" She screamed

Luckily or Unluckily as the case may be a purple haired jonin was willing to lend a pair of boots to her but only if she wore a special outfit for the rest of the day. Needless to say three people were now on Kurenai's revenge list.

"KAKASHI! NARUTO! ANKO! YOU THREE WILL PAY FOR THIS" she shouted blushing from the looks she got from some perverted old gentlemen.

"ACHOO! No its in my mask."

"ACHOO! Eh a little snot never hurt dango."

"ACHOO! COME BACK AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN YOU COWARDLY LION!"

**Chapter End**

well there you have it my start of continuing Actionliker's Naruto of the Zaraki fic

what do ya think good, bad I don't know of since some people in Actionliker reviews of this story said they wanted other bleach characters to be added I'm putting up a poll in my bio vote yes or no I can work with or without them but if I do use them I already have 4 in mind to use.

also if you want to see Kurenai's outfit here is the link

cosplay(dot)com

/photo/943243/


	5. Meeting of the minds

**Disclaimer-I Own neither Naruto or Bleach**

**The Next Day Location Forest of Death 7:55 am**

Kenpachi awoke with a loud yawn removing the tan pelt from his body he sat up and began to stretch.

"Well that was a good nap terrible fight but at least he made a good blanket."spoke the now risen fighter

'Now how the hell do I get out of here? Nothin but trees all around guess I better start running.' thought the captain while he began to run in a straight line to wherever it might lead him.

(**3 Hours later****)**

"Finally a gate time to get out of this place!"

With a tremendous jump Kenpachi leaped over the gate landing in front of a now wide-eyed Tokubetsu Jonin.

"Y-y-y-y-our that brat from yesterday!" Screamed the shocked Anko while pointing at the shirtless blonde

"Hey your that whore from yesterday how ya doin."greeted Kenpachi with a wide grin

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU LITTLE FUCKER I'M GONNA TEACH YOU SOME MANNERS!" Screamed Anko while pulling Kenpachi to her face.

_Sniff sniff _

Getting a whiff of the blonde Anko's face turned a sickly shade of green then she proceeded to push the blond away having him land on his ass.

'"FUCK kid you stink go home and bathe!"Yelled the now queasy Anko holding her nose

"Don't know where home is so can't do it sorry."replied Kenpachi in a bored tone

'_Poor kid villagers must have run him out of his place. He's just to proud to admit it well kid today is your lucky day ' _These were the thoughts running through the mind of Anko as a wide grin adorned her face.

Growing bored with the conversation the shrunken captain began to walk away searching for the arena that will host his upcoming battles only to be halted by something warping around his body upon inspection he discovered it be a large black python.

Turning around Kenpachi Screamed "What the hell are you doing you foolish woman!"

"Ah so you do have some manners eh brat. As to what I'm doing I'm taking you to the bathhouse can't have you stinking up the village now can I."Anko said while dragging the struggling blonde to the bathhouse.

Let me go! Let me go! Screamed Kenpachi who was kicking and struggling to escape.

**(Konaha Hot Springs)**

"O.K. We're here now lets get you set up"said the smiling Jonin as she released the fuming blonde

Retrieving a scroll from her coat Anko withdrew several items from it.

"Well here ya go you've got a bucket, towel, soap and a rubber ducky have fun I'll be back in a few hours have fun."

Wait just a moment woman I've got a few questions for you." Kenpachi said stopping Anko in her tracks as she was leaving.

"O.K. Shoot little guy." She replied patting him on the head.

Frowning he began his questions."First of all why are you doing all this for me? Also why the hell is the duck green and has bite marks in it?!"

Sighing she answered."Listen kid you've been given a hard role in life I'm just trying to make it a little easier so just shut up and enjoy the gift of a special day of pampering on me. As for the duck I found it in the forest one day like that."

"Fine I'll take your gift but don't tell anyone about this so called pampering they'll think I've gone soft."He replied with slight irritation in his voice.

Giving a wide grin Anko enveloped the small genin in a hug forcing his head in between her firm bosom."Fine I'll be sure that no one ever learns about Naru-chan's day of beauty." She said snickering to herself.

Releasing him from her embrace she waved goodbye and proceeded to leap in another direction.

"She's even stranger than Tatsufusa but at least I don't have to deal with her for the moment." Kenpachi said as he entered the men's side

**(Konaha Hot Spring Men's Section)**

Easing into the water Kenpachi felt the hot water relaxing his muscles as he finally began to ponder his current situation.

'This isn't good how the hell am I going to find this stadium this place is mostly a forest I could wander around for days. I cant let that happen who knows what could happen to that red headed kid I might not get a chance to fight him and what HELL IS WITH THAT GIGGLING.'

Turning around Kenpachi was greeted to the sight of a muscular white haired man in an outfit even from what he had seen in his lifetime was still strange peeking into the women's side from what seemed to be a freshly made hole in the divider gate.

"Heh , heh, heh. Oh yeah now that's what daddy likes now remove the towel. There ya go now bend over. HA HA that's more like it. " the strange an said happily.

Seeing the long white hair Kenpachi called the first name that came to mind "Ukitake how in the hell did you get here?"Kenpachi asked still annoyed by the giggling.

"Huh Ukitake? Listen well kid I don't know who that guy is but you should know who I am."Responded the old man expecting immediate recognition.

The man was responded to with a blank stare of confusion and slight pity.

"Don't they teach you kids anything anymore? Listen here brat for this is a day you shall remember for the rest of your life."The unknown man said as he began a strange dance of some sort.

" I am known both far and wide! Women look upon me with eyes of lust and hope! While men look with envy and pride! I am the mighty Toad Sage of Myobokuzan! One of the legendary three Sannin! That being of pure masculinity and sexiness! The one the only Jiraiya! "The now introduced man said finishing his dance with a weird pose.

"That has got to be the second worst dance I've ever seen. Now get the fuck out of here so I can enjoy my bath you old fart."Kenpachi said with anger and killing intent lacing his words.

"No way brat this one of the best spots for me to perform my research. So why don't you just shut up and observe how a an works you might just learn a thing or two." Jiraiya responded turning back around to continue his work,

Getting tired of the old man's shenanigans Kenpachi charged forward ready to attack. However out of the corner of his eye Jiraiya was able to see the incoming attack the moment Kenpachi came within arms length of him Jiraiya reached back grabbed Kenpachi by the hair. Applying Chakra to his feet he ran up the divider before reaching the top he repelled himself away flying towards the spring he threw Kenpachi in the hot water making him sink like a rock. While he gracefully with acrobatic skill landed on his feet atop the water without falling in. Grabbing onto the side of the spring Kenpachi and removed himself from the spring turning around he leaped at Jiraiya hoping to bring him down. Unfortunately Jiraiya was easily able to sidestep him causing the blonde to re-submerge into the boiling water.

Exiting the water again Kenpachi turned and yelled to the physically older man."Get out of there and fight like a man you coward!"

"Why don't you just come and fight me on the water like a Shinobi just use your Chakra you idiot."Replied Jiraiya sticking his tongue out at the blonde.

"My what now? Chakra what is that some sort of fighting style. "Kenpachi asked confused at the word.

"You know the life force of all living beings. "The Sannin replied.

"Doesn't ring a bell."Was the reply from the youth.

"The energy used to perform all Jutsu."The old man said desperately hoping the boy got the answer now.

"Still got nothing."Kenpachi replied with a blank stare.

"The glowy thing when you charge up an attack."Jiraiya said exhausted with the whole explanation only to be met with silence and a blank stare from the blonde.

Seeing that words were getting him nowhere Jiraiya walked off of the water and to the boy. Raising his fist he hit the blonde on top of his head causing a lump to appear.

"Alright kid I don't know who your teacher is but he should have taught you this just do as I do."Jiraiya said as put his hands in the Ram Seal and then began focusing his Chakra.

Eying the man Kenpachi performed the action feeling like Kendo it would be best just to learn it and only use it when necessary.

Seeing the blonde repeat the action Jiraiya noticed something an extra seal on the boy's abdomen walking over he examined it more closely.

'Hmm a Five Elements Seal that doesn't belong there and its sloppy must be the work of Orochimaru I'll fix this first then talk to Sarutobi.'

Walking over to the boy who was still trying to focus his Chakra Jiraiya pulled his left hand back as his fingertips were engulfed in small blue flames and yelled "**Five Elements Unseal.**"Thrusting his opened fist into the blonde boy's abdomen hurling Kenpachi backwards and removing the Five Elements Seal from him.

Seeing the boy land next to the divider Jiraiya walked over to him tried to awaken him but failed.

"Well that shouldn't have happened come on kid wake up. "Jiraiya yelled as he shook the boy vigorously. "Come on boy this isn't funny wake up"he said while shaking him even harder."FUCK, Sarutobi's gonna kill me. WAKE THE FUCK UP DAMN YOU!"

(**Inside Naruto's Mind)**

Kenpachi found himself face down in what appeared to be some type of sewer.."OK now where am I?"He said getting up with a grunt and a bit of dizziness. Looking down he realized that he was no longer as small as he was moments ago looking over himself in the water he saw that he returned to his original form complete with his bells and ripped captain haori. "Well wherever the hell I am at least I got my body back. " Looking to his left he saw a giant double door and hear what sounded like someone talk."Wonder whats in there, only one way to find out. "

Kenpachi then proceeded to open the large doors and entered the mysterious new room. Once inside he was greeted to the sight of a blue eyed blonde boy with spiky hair three scars on his cheek and wearing way too much orange. From where he could see the boy with a shocked expression on his face was listening to a giant set of slitted eyes and teeth behind a enormous cage.

"**And that boy is how I killed, raped and sexually seduced my way to become the most powerful Biju. Maybe next time I'll tell you what I did after getting this rank before getting sealed inside you but it appears we have a guest. Speak flesh bag!" T**he creature behind the cage spoke towards the former captain.

Looking at the creature Kenpachi walked up to the cage and spoke."I don't know who or what you are but you better tell me where I am and how to get out of here."

"**Silence you flesh-ling! Do you not know who you are speaking to?"** The creature spoke with its hot breath blowing Kenpachi's bells causing them to jingle in the now silent room.

"Um no?" Kenpachi replied with a blank expression on his face.

"**Listen well mortal. Tombstones, piles of bodies drop, all made by my designed assault. I'm the product of the bottom of a mindless thought. Psychotic off of chronic mixed with rage and lust, Stomping all opposition until their brains are mush. No remorse from the force as the blood pour forth. I endorse only sports of the dangerous sort. I move in silence, instinct and straight violence. Quiet as kept, snapping necks for respect. I'm a triple threat to the world doom, danger and death. Seventy three stories tall ,a maniac unseen none can stop this Big Red Machine. I am the one the only Kyuubi no Yoko!" **The now identified beast bellowed.

"You couldn't just say your name could you? Now hurry up and tell me how to get the hell out of here! Oh and by the way who's the scrawny kid?" Kenpachi asked while pointing to the blonde boy who was now talking to himself still with a shocked expression on his face.

Walking over to the boy Kenpachi heard his incoherent rambling each sounding stranger that the last.

"I-I-I can't believe he did that to an Angel and that poor bunny. What kind of sick monster shoves a snake up an innocent dolphin's ass just for pleasure and a treaty. The tails I didn't know they could be put in those places do women even like them there with the twisting, rubbing and pumping."the blond spoke sweat pouring down his face from the tale he was told by the Kyuubi.

Walking closer Kenpachi grabbed the boy and shook him out of his daze."Wake up kid now is not the time to lose your mind snap out of it nothing could be that bad your still alive at least."he yelled slapping him to make sure he got his point across.

"OK, OK, I'm up I'm up now who the heck are you and what are you doing inside my mind?" The blonde asked slightly irritated with his now sore face.

"I'm the Captain of Squad 11 aka the Zaraki Corps Kenpachi Zaraki and if this is really your mind then you really need to get it out of the gutter." Kenpachi said with his signature grin on his face.

"HEY! Listen here funny man I'm Naruto Uzumaki future Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves and my mind is not a gutter remember it." The now introduced Naruto said pointing at the Captain dramatically.

"So your Naruto huh well kid let me tell you something next time you want to point dramatically make sure your not being held up by someone twice your size and weight. Other than that I must say you've got guts kid I like that" Spoke the Captain while he placed Naruto back on the ground.

"**Well isn't that cute you two make such a cute couple. Heh Heh Heh."**The Kyuubi said laughing at the two other occupants of the room.

With calm face Kenpachi let loose his rage and ran towards the cage at full speed while yelling at the fox."That's it your dead big red!"

Normally an attack using the speed and power of Kenpachi would break down any door too bad that this particular door was enforced by a seal constructed by world a renounced seal master thus causing the captain to collapse.

***BONG***

The sound of vibrating metal poles filled the room along with psychotic laughter of the Kyuubi as Kenpachi began to rise from the ground.

"**Oh that was hilarious I think this one may be even dumber than you boy. But then again all of you humans are idiots. "**Kyuubi spoke still laughing at Kenpachi.

Getting up fully Kenpachi spoke while rubbing his head."Ouch. That stung but I should have broken that damn door how the hell am I suppose to get in there to kill you."

Seeing this as a possible way to escape Kyuubi planed his next move** 'Hmm, if he's as stupid as I think he is I may just get **out** of here.'"Hey ugly if you want to get in all you have to do is remove that paper in the middle of the gate."**

"Fine."That was the only response given by Kenpachi as he slowly extended his arm to the Seal only to be stopped by Naruto who ha jumped on his back trying to stop him from unleashing the ancient beast.

"No you can't the last time he was free many good people lost their lives!"Naruto screamed at the much larger man.

"Sounds like fun I was hoping he was strong."That was the last words of the Captain as he began peeling off the seal.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..........."

Chapter end

There we go another chapter done as for the wait here is what I was doing in order

#1. working on my cosplay for the NY Anime Festival

#2. Family reunion

#3. work was hell many people went on vacation

#4. tickets for Dethklok/Mastodon concert

#5. for a prop to go with cosplay

#6. working on AMV for NYAF

#7. 360 (side note when arkham asylum comes out I will be on that for about a week)

#8. reading other fanfics

#9. porn

#10. saw a shock video that kept me of internet for a while . Spankwire (dot) com/ One-of-the-scariest-videos-out-there-Mature/ video51835/

now seeing as add more bleach characters won I now need bodies to put them in I'm adding 12 I've already decided on 3 so I need suggestions for 9. I really want one for shino since he is one of my faves but don't know who to put in him also I'm trying to stay away from characters combos used in **Naruto: Rise of the Lord of Foxes** by VFSnake (good story read it if you haven't already)so the will not be any Unohana in Hinata or Yoruichi in Yugito even though I like all of them in my couple stories. on a final note I already have someone I'm going to put in Sasuke since he will be the villain but he not be counted so he's like the unofficial 13th person. So now go people go forth and review and I can be found on 360 under the same name(if I lose enough I usually write a page or 2).


	6. Here's Daddy not really

**Disclaimer-I Own neither Naruto or Bleach**

Just as Kenpachi was about to open the cage he was stopped by a hand grabbing his wrist. The hand was soon joined by another as the former captain and The blonde were sent flying across the room. The sound of footsteps was soon heard as both look towards the person who flung them. Neither expected the assailant to be a beautiful redheaded woman standing at 5'6" with her hair we reaching her waist, shining emerald eyes, firm breasts that had to be at least a C cup,bare long slender legs, all packed into a hospital gown. The only thing that scared them was the angry glare she was directing at Kenpachi.

"Who the hell are you woman and why did you start me from opening that cage I wanted to fight that giant beast in there!" Kenpachi said returning the glad to the woman.

"I should be asking you that especially since you're trying to kill my little boy Naruto by releasing that monstrosity over there." She said pointing to the Kyuubi right behind her who was now even more pissed that his latest escape plan was foiled it by this newcomer.

"**I too would like to know the identity of the person who ruined my escape plan even if they are sexy woman." **Kyuubi said with anger and lust in his voice.

"Yeah me too and what do you mean by my little boy." Naruto said adding his two cents in the conversation.

"Oh sweetie I know it's been years but surely must recognize me your beloved, and beautiful mother Kushina Uzumaki." Kushina said as she hugged Naruto forcing his head into her firm chest while also cutting off his circulation.

"Well that's nice and all but I need to get back to opening up that cage now if you'll excuse me I need to get back to work."Kenpachi said as he began walking back towards the cage.

Realizing he was about to continue the task Kushina leapt forward releasing her son from her death grip She tackled Kenpachi to the ground sending him face first again into the metal bars.

"Oh no you don't buddy boy I just finished telling you that if you do that it would kill my sweet little baby Naruto and I won't allow you to do you to do that Mr. jingle jangle." Kushina said while Standing on top of him and shaking his head causing his bells to jingle getting a few laughs from Naruto and Kyuubi.

After Naruto stop snickering he walked over to Kushina with a serious look on his face and looked her right in the eye asked. "Why? If you're my mother and why did you allow the fourth Hokage to seal the Kyuubi inside of me and do you know the loneliness I've had to deal with because of that monster the angry stares, parents keeping their kids away from me, half the people didn't even knowledge my existence like I was nothing now you tell me why would you let the fourth Hokage do this to me!"

After hearing this Kushina began to tear up and gave a loving hug to her son. "Oh no I can't believe this was done we hope surely which your father's name and his skills as a legendary seal Master of people would love you as we hoped they would. I can't believe it if I would've known this I never would've let your father seal Mr. red fluffy buns inside you."

"Wait I thought the fourth sealed the Kyuubi inside of me? You don't mean, no it can't be, the old man would've told me if he was." Naruto said as he began to get lost in just what Kushina had just told him.

Seeing the doubt on his face Kushina smiled and answered the question that was on his mind. "Yes Naruto the fourth Hokage, a.k.a. The yellow flash, better known as Minato Namikaze is your father. Although if the old man is the person who I think he is I wonder why he didn't tell you this earlier? He'd better have had good reason otherwise when he kicks the bucket I'm going to kick him in the crotch hard!"

After hearing this both Naruto and Kyuubi covered their private areas for mental and physical protection. Kenpachi would've covered in this except that Kushina was still on top of him.

"Well this is nice and all but the mind getting off of me red." Kenpachi said with a irritated growl.

" Oh, ha ha my bad." Kushina said while getting off of him and scratching the back of her head. "Now where were we? Ah, yes your father sealed to Kyuubi into you Naruto because he had faith in the villagers and Sarutobi to look after his son."

Accepting her answer Naruto asked his next question that was on his mind."Hey mom I was wondering how exactly are you here anyway?"

"Oh that, well after the grueling eight hours of labor you gave me." Kushina started while giving a glare to Naruto that sent chills up the spine. "I lost a lot of blood plus the stress of having the Kyuubi attacking the village weakened my body to the point where the doctors could no longer help me your father came to me and told me what he was planning. I won't bore you with the details but we both knew that there might be a chance someone trying to influence you into removing the Seal so we came up with a plan to stop that from happening. Your father put my soul into a Seal that was put on your blanket this Seal would make a second defense in case someone else tried to remove the main Seal. Also it would allow me to appear as I am now to help you out in case that happened. But that still leaves who Mr. scarred face over here is. So who are you anyway?"

"I'm Capt. Kenpachi Zaraki leader of the 11th division the strongest division also known as the Zaraki squad and I am a Shinigami." The captain said as he saw Naruto and Kushina backing away the cage that held the Kyuubi. "What Up with you two?" Kenpachi asked while looking at that two now scared Uzumaki members.

Fear was evident on the face of the two Uzumaki's faces as they literally looked dead right in the face.

"Um Mr. Shinigami, sir you're not here to take my soul to the underworld are you?" The Uzumaki's said they cowered near the cage containing the Kyuubi.

"**So Shinigami huh?Just because you sealed me in doesn't mean I let you finish the job bring on you son of a bitch!" **Kyuubi said his eyes glowing red and baring his fangs.

"I didn't put you in here idiot! I think you have me confused with the other guy you know purple faced, grey robe, white hair, sharp teeth, has a cool knife though" Kenpachi said while stroking his chin trying to remember more about the false Shinigami.

"Wait a minute, if you're not the one who see it the Kyuubi in me then you must not be a real Shinigami then so just who the hell are you?" Naruto said as he pointed an accusing finger at Kenpachi.

Getting irritated Kenpachi walked over to Naruto lifted him up to his face and said"Listen here short man I already told you who I am. Besides the purple guy said that there was more than one type of Shinigami well that's basically what he said anyway."

Seeing her child in danger Kushina acted quickly removing her hospital gown twisting it so it was reminiscent of a whip. Running forward she tackled Kenpachi to the ground and began to hogtie him with her gown and caught Naruto before he hit the ground.

"Oh my poor baby did not mean man hurt you?" Kushina said as she held her son's head to her naked bosom suffocating and embarrassing him.

"Hey untie me you crazy bitch!" Kenpachi yelled as Kushina was again standing on top of him.

"**Oh yeah that's what Kyuubi likes, shake it baby."**These were the ramblings of the Kyuubi as he watched the spectacle before him especially taking in the nakedness of Kushina.

"Hey fuzz butt stopped checking out my mom and can you please put some clothes on mother." Naruto said angrily as he finally escaped the mounds of his mother.

Her motherly fury dying down Kushina realized her state of undress and simply shrugged. "Listen son, I'm a Kunoichi therefore I have to use everything at my disposal to do my job. Besides I'm hot and sexy so I have nothing to worry about just like I told little Anko that girl is going places. But I digress Naruto listen because Mr. cute little child attacker here we don't have as much time as we could have." Kushina said as she glared at Kenpachi. "Your father believed that someone was behind the Kyuubi attack he didn't know who but from what he could tell the attack was only the beginning. Your father and I both have faith in you to stop whatever this person has planned."

"Sounds like a good fight to me I'm in." Kenpachi said grinning ear to ear.

"This is a family moment so just stay down and keep quiet!" Kushina yelled as she stomped Kenpachi's head into the ground with her foot.

"Mom I don't know if I can do this, I mean I wasn't the best student in class, I barely know any Jutsu, I'm not that smart, and I completely suck at Genjutsu so how on earth by supposed to stop this person if they can control the Kyuubi." The young blonde said as he lost more and more faith in himself.

"**Hey, nobody controls meI'm the fuckin Kyuubi no Kitsune, all cower before me and my sexy evilness." **Kyuubi Said as his anger rose at being called somewhat of a pet.

"Everyone except dad and the Shinigami that is." Naruto said mockingly to the giant beast.

Laughing out loud Kushina spoke between giggles. "Good one son. Now as for your skills don't worry I wasn't the best of my time either but I grew to the great Kunoichi you see today. Also I'm so proud of you sucking at Genjutsu, the Uzumaki blood must run strong in you. We Uzumaki don't need no fancy illusions missions or good chakra control, we'll just send giant water dragons, water sharks, and water kitty's at our problems. Also what do you mean you barely know any Jutsu?!"

Panicking Naruto explains."It's not my thoughts Kakashi sensei didn't really teach me much except tree walking."

"Okay but what about your godfather Jiraiya surely he taught you something." Kushina asked.

"I have a godfather!" Naruto shouted shock evident on his face.

"What you didn't know that either! Okay now that makes three people whose asses are going to have a foot enema courtesy of me." Kushina said feminine fury rising once again. "Naruto your godfather was supposed to watch out for you after we were gone but apparently he wasn't doing his job, dirty old perv probably was trying to get laid. Anyway he is one of the legendary three Sannin the toad Sage he was also your fathers teacher, he's easy to find in a crowd even easier in a bathhouse. He's a big guy with long white hair, a wart on his nose, wears kabuki clothing and please, please do not allow him to perform his introductory dance you'll thank me later. Find him and force him to train you if he doesn't agree just tell him he'll tell everyone you know about the peanut butter and the gerbil incident."

"What the hell can happen put peanut butter in a terrible?" Naruto asked him confused.

"**Dammit boy I told you about this already, remember how me and Gobi tortured the mermaid king into surrendering by spreading peanut butter on his ass hole and then we let a demonic gerbil have at him, ah yes, good times I remember also trying that on Nibi with a normal gerbil." Kyuubi said while reminiscing about the past.**

Everyone just stared at Kyuubi after he made that statement slightly disturbed at the things he has done.

"Well anyway just tell him that and you should get your training you need to become strong Naruto stronger than your father even if you have to use the power of fuzz butt to do it. And remember Naruto your not only a Namikaze your an Uzumaki also." Kushina said proudly.

"Thanks mom I'll remember it always." Naruto said tears in his eyes.

"Enough's enough when are you going to get off of me women?" Kenpachi said getting fed up with the whole naked woman standing on top of him situation.

"Fine fine." Kushina said as she got off of him. "Happy now."

"That's better now it seems to me that shorty over here needs all the help he can get so I'm gonna help him even if that means if I have to make the sacrifice of fighting many strong opponents, giant animals and other crazy shit this world has." Kenpachi said happily.

"How can you possibly help me with anything?" Naruto asked not knowing of how foolish his question was.

Getting angry Kenpachi released some of his Reiatsu causing both the Uzumaki's to fall to the ground using his immense strength he escaped his bindings. "**Listen here punk even though my overall skills were the lowest of the captains I've more than made up for it using just my raw power so keep quiet and listen to what I have to say.**"Lowering his Reiatsu Kenpachi helped the two up.

"Okay you can help." Mother and son said fearing for their lives.

"Good now that we've reached an understanding tell me why the hell are you two fading away?" Asked Kenpachi while pointing at Kushina.

Looking at each other Naruto and Kushina realized they were slowly fading away. Naruto was slowly starting to disappear beginning with his hair while Kushina was becoming completely transparent.

"Well it looks like we're just about out of time Naruto your headed back to the real world while I am going to rejoin the real Kushina in the afterlife, remember what I've told you and good luck." Kushina said as she gave her son one last hug.

"**Wait woman I would like to give you a gift that very a few have ever received . You shall be the first human in 600 years to experience the Kyuubi Twister. Kyuubi said with pride waiting for Kushina to come closer and accept his gift.**

Kenpachi and Kushina looked at Kyuubi questioningly while Naruto became red with rage. "Damn you Kyuubi! How dare you even think about doing **that** to my mother." Naruto yelled.

"**Hey I get lonely in here, do you know how long it's been since I've been with a female of any kind even you pathetic humans. Besides she might just enjoy I haven't heard any complaints so far."**

"That's because you were choking them." Was Naruto's reply.

"Okay this is getting annoying just tell us what the hell this Kyuubi Twister is already." Kenpachi asked getting annoyed once again with the bickering of these strange and annoying people.

"**Fine listen well mortals so you should one day tell your descendents of my legendary pleasure technique the move that brings all female this to Nirvana." **Kyuubi began.

"Get On With It Already!" All three occupants yelled at the great beast.

"**Okay okay geez you're excuse me for trying to line up your miserable pathetic lives. This move is only accomplishable by someone of my stature and greatness. Using my third, fifth, and seventh tails I insert them in a triple helix formation in the pussy** **of my current lover or rape victim whatever the case may be. While simultaneously inserting my first, fourth, and ninth tails into their ass. Using my second and eighth tails I massage their breast while shoving my sixth tail down their throat. Twisting the tails gives immense pleasure to them causing them to cum. Afterwords they passed out and you're free to do whatever the hell you want to their body." Kyuubi finished within a nostalgic look upon his face.**

Everyone just looked at Kyuubi with some utter disgust upon their faces trying to process just who in the hell could enjoy such treatment. Looking at each other they nodded their head's and shouted. "Y**our Sick!"**

"**Oh sure I am the sick one. Was just exactly how many moves do you guys have named after you?**" Kyuubi replied slightly angry.

The responses were not what he was expecting "none, seven, thirteen."

Still disturbed Kushina gave him some parting words to everyone. "Naruto three final things you need to know, don't trust anyone over 40, please don't follow Jiraiya's family motto, and I want lots and lots of grandchildren at least one named after me if I doesn't meet when he's famous enough."

"Mom what is Jiraiya's family motto?" Naruto asked quizzically.

"Hooters Hooters Hooters Yum Yum Yum, Hooters Hooters Hooters on a girl that's dumb. Now Kenpachi I want you to be sure to look after my baby or your ass well be the fourth one my foot greets in the afterlife. As for you Kyuubi I have only one thing to say you are the most..... ." those were the final words of Kushina Uzumaki as she faded out of existence.

"**Well seeing as she's gone I think I better finish her sentence unleash what she was trying to say was that I am the most beautiful male specimen she has ever seen."**Kyuubi said ignoring the slight sweatshops forming on the back of Naruto and Kenpachi's heads.

"Well that was fun but now how the hell do we get at here if I'm going to start your training?" Kenpachi asked as he can to his head to look at the boy who was no longer there." Oh great now he's gone now what we did?"

"**Allow me to tell you that tale of how I got my rank I was born in a den made of the bones of ….." **Kyuubi began but was soon interrupted.

"Not interested I'm taking a nap." Kenpachi said as he lied down and began to snore.

(**Outside the Seal Konaha Hot Spring)**

Jiraiya was still slapping Naruto attempting to awaken him but the boy refused to rise." Wake up, wake up I say, you've got to be crazy if you think I'm going to let old man Sarutobi find out I killed Minato's son." Jiraiya yelled shaking and slapping Naruto attempt to save his own ass.

Naruto feeling pain and vibrations through his body finally opened his eyes and saw the face Jiraiya.

"Oh my God he's alive, he's alive and that means I can continue my research and book!" Jiraiya screamed to the heavens.

Standing up Naruto stared at the strange man whooping and hollering until he realized his state of undress. "What happened to my clothes! Why am I naked! Oh my God this must be what they were talking about could happen at the Academy. I knew my good looks, smooth skin, baby blue eyes, and perfect butt would eventually get me into trouble but not like this." Naruto stammered as he realized just whom this old man was and yelled the appropriate two words. " HELP PEDOPHILE!"

**Chapter end **

There now another chapter done the next one will probably come out when I'm on my vacation as I won't need as much sleep. I'd like to give thanks to the following people for their suggestions

for body parings and remember I need more bodies

Majin Hentai X

Samuramon

backdragonfire

gameroy


	7. not a chapter just whats going on

O.K. i know its been 2 months but alot of things kept happening first i lost my flashdirve and handwritten notes of the chapter. So i had to try and remember what i wrote adding school , work and personal life i was pretty busy but i am **NOT ** abbandoning this. The new chapter will be up within the week two at most so in the mentime here is a little preview also the following people now have bodies taken from pms and reviews so i need 4 more bodies. also deltabeta26 that none, seven, thirteen line i was eatung a fortune cookie at the time so thats where the numbers came from but if i had to choose Naruto=0 Kushina=13 Kenpachi=7

Soifon

Mayuri Kurotsuchi

Charlotte Chuuhlhourne

Retsu Unohana

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

**(Konaha Hokage Tower 12:13 PM Sarutobi office)**

The aged Hokage was in his office finishing up the last of his paper work while enjoying his pipe when his office door was blown down. As the smoke cleared he saw a dozen ANBU being led by two men he knew quite well. The first figure was very pale with long black hair and gold slated eyes reminiscing of a snake wearing standard Konaha Chunin and Jonin garb although the headband he wore had a slash going through the leaf insignia marking him as a missing nin this man was his former student Orochimaru. Standing next to was a much older man wearing a long gray cloak half of his face covered in bandages only revealing his left side and his spiky hair also noticeable was his use of a cane to help him move around this was Danzo is old rival for the Hokage position.

Eyeing them carefully Sarutobi spoke "Danzo what is the meaning of this!"

Giving a sinister grin the old war hawk answered. "This Sarutobi is the changing of the guard or passing of the torch if you will." Motioning towards Orochimaru he continued. "Your former student and I have decided that your time is come to retire in definitely. This could've gone a lot smoother if you have just died in the Kyuubi attack but no your wrinkled ass just had to keep on living. So now we have to do things the hard way, it's more fun for us yes but it's gonna be a whole lot more difficult."

"Ku Ku Ku, he's right Sarutobi sensei this is coming to be a lot of fun Danzo here offered me all of the Jutsu in Konaha and has granted me full permission to conduct my experiments to my hearts content if I help him become Hokage. I think my first experiment will be dissecting you to figure out how exactly a shriveled old tobacco monkey like you could live so long." Orochimaru said as he licked his lips with his elongated tongue.

Closing his eyes Sarutobi sighed as he reached to his left picking up the Hokage hat and raising it above his head. "Clever plan and very well thought out but you forget one thing" Sarutobi began as he lowered the hat onto his head. "I am the Hokage. **Hokage Powers Activate!**" No sooner had the words left his mouth Sarutobi's body began to change his wrinkles disappear as his youth returned to him his muscles pulse as they enlarge to five times their original size, his height increasing a good 3 feet making him now and intimidating 8'3". "Now who's passing the torch now?" Sarutobi asked while cracking his knuckles.


End file.
